whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize