I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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