maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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