barbara walters just said penis...
Say something about gay babies.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
