So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
