Pants 0. Shit 1.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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