also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
