remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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