I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
