how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
