saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
