Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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