He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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