but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
