No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
