I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize