So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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