ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
