If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
