Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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