Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Welp...herpes.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
