I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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