the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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