I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
