even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
