all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
