There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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