I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
