never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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