so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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