the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
