i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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