Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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