I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
