quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
