Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
