there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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