I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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