Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
