just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
