I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize