I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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