I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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