All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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