At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
