i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize