how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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