At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
