Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
