We won't sleep together?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
