It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
