wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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