i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
