Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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