It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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