oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
