You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
