I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
