The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
