Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize