It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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