Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
