me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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