I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
