Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
my liver is dry heaving
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
