I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we made out on top of his cat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
